Tonight has been a longish night for me. Matt and I have to move soon, and we've found the house we really, really, REALLY want. We walked in the door and I just felt at home. I can just picture us living life there for a long time. I can picture us starting a family there and me having a little garden and playing in the yard and making yummy meals for friends and family. But it turns out we're not the only ones who feel that way and we have some competition with another couple who saw it this morning. We find out tomorrow if we get it or not, and I have been freaking out all night. I want it so bad and I might be heartbroken if he doesn't pick us. But I've been praying through it and remembering that 1. it's just a house, it's a material thing and it will pass away. If we don't get it, we will move on and God will still provide us with shelter. and 2. God really does give us the desires of our hearts if we find our joy in Him. I've been praying really contradictory prayers. One minute I'm asking God to help me just let it go and be ok with whatever happens and the next I'm literally BEGGING for this house. I took a little break from my praying/freaking to read some blogs and I stumbled onto 2 really encouraging ones that I've never heard of before, In His Grace and Life Made Lovely. I think just reading things that woman who have put their trust in Jesus, even if they're not writing about exactly what I'm going through makes me feel encouraged and at peace. Another thing that makes me feel encouraged and at peace is this song by Brooke Fraser. It always lifts me up and reminds me of what's important. I don't even watch the video because it just distracts me from the words. I love the words, and I believe them, so I'm singing this song tonight and trusting that no matter what I find out tomorrow, I'm heard and I'm safe and taken care of. And there are bigger things in life than whether or not I get exactly what I want.
hope you're having a wonderful Monday.
~Lanna
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